Monday, March 15, 2010

4 Weeks since we lost him

Well, it's been four weeks now. It's weird, I can hardly remember yesterday, and yet I can remember Valentine's day and early Monday morning so well. I mean, Monday makes sense, but the day before? There was no emotion hooked into that day... not really.

I remember one of our friends from Church tipping his newborn towards my wife's belly and in a high-pitched voice saying "Come out! I need a friend!" shaking his child with each syllable. I remember Leanne wearing the necklace I got her. I remember going to our coffee shop and buying more baby stuff online ("I think we're finally done!" Leanne excitedly told me). I remember working on my small group lesson, getting frustrated because the words would not come to me. Most of all, I remember the joy of knowing that I was going to be a dad.

It's still hard not to get excited whenever I think about the end of March--his due date getting closer and closer. Thinking about a crying infant and excited grandmas.

But in the end God had a different plan. My emotions already feel less exposed, less raw. Healing is happening. Thank you all for your prayers and support.

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